Although it is not a norm there is one guy from my blog who I hand out with on a regular basis. That is the fun part about my project… there are no rules. I can say this, he is the best looking and not AS bad as he seemed to be on the first date.
With that said, we are summer friends with benefits. The benefits stop when one of us finds a potential love interest, at which point we hang out as friends. The benefits resume immediately after we move on. It was a pretty good deal all around.
One night my FWB invited me to his baseball game and then some fun after. I love watching sexy guys get sweaty, so I took him up on it. I invited my Best Friend, Liz, to come along with so I would have someone to talk to during the game.
Liz and I had a great time catching up from her semester abroad. We new it would be our last summer together so we held nothing back. I told her what I planned on doing to my FWB after this first work out. She asked how it worked with him living with his parents. I told her how it sucked and we had to sneak around in his parent’s basement.
We discussed how my FWB was less than endowed, but it wasn’t like I was going to marry the guy and be stuck with it, right?
We talked about how hot the other players were. Number 25 in particular was a stud. Why does he keep looking over here? Maybe I could trade up? He wants me hardcore. Wow, look at those fine asses out there. Oooooooooooo Weeeeeeeeeeeeee
After about an hour of laughing, gossiping and watching the baseball game, my FWB came over to give us some bug spray. After thanking him for the spray he replies, “No problem, give it to my Mom when you’re done,” pointing to the woman sitting next to Liz.
I turned bright red thinking about all the things she must have heard. The worst thing was that I had met her before and didn’t recognize her. Wait, no, maybe the worst was that 25 was his newly-wed brother, who had most likely been looking over at his mom the whole game.
Awkward
Dating Philosophy
So here is the idea about online dating. You pick one out based on a couple pictures and a little bio. It is the ultimate example of human superficial-ness. The user searches for matches who are attractive, but not too attractive that you don’t have a chance. It is also an ultimate test of self-confidence. You can tell what kind of confidence a person has by whom they think they have the right to message and possibly date in the future. Someone who has extremely high self-confidence will blow off anyone who looks any less than a red carpet model. It seems only obvious from that reasoning that the eDater with low confidence will be too intimidated by attractive or slightly successful profiles.
If for some reason they pass the first “attractive- yet not too douch-baggary” test you scan the words for signs of serial killer tendencies, and send a message. Now not every eDater is the same. There are always exceptions to the rules. You often have the creepy guys who send out mass messages to every female seeking male on the site without a mustache. (Sometimes they even send messages to those depending on how desperate.)
Here is my problem:
When on a date with someone you meet online eDaters don’t hear what the other person is ACTUALLY saying. They obviously want it to go well. They wouldn’t be searching hopelessly through wifi waves for a soul mate if they had the time or social skills to wait around to sort through guys themselves. By looking for a significant other online it proves that you are either looking for sex or looking for “the one.” Everyone wants to think that the next one is going to be “the one.” We wouldn’t do it knowing that the next one is going to be a waste of time or will take your heart and rip it out leaving you a little less trusting towards the next. We wouldn’t bother (and would probably not let it happen in the first place), which leads me to my point. Every eDater goes into the date with at least a glimmer of a hope that this is the person you have been looking for their entire life.
So this is why we see our date in a far better light than they really are. We WANT them to be the great person they might be. This is how I know that in order for me to see these eDater guys as ridiculous, bad dates they must have been just that… bad. I have to admit that the stories I have taken away are something that have added to my life experience.
So what happens when you take out that factor? What happens when you don’t go in it for sex or marriage? You don’t go into it trying to dress up and impress? What happens when you eDate as many people as possible to learn about the opposite sex? What would you see once the bull shit curtain was pulled away? No one to try to impress, no false hopes or rose-colored glasses?
*names have been changed to protect the not-so-innocent
Thursday, June 24, 2010
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