Although it is not a norm there is one guy from my blog who I hand out with on a regular basis. That is the fun part about my project… there are no rules. I can say this, he is the best looking and not AS bad as he seemed to be on the first date.
With that said, we are summer friends with benefits. The benefits stop when one of us finds a potential love interest, at which point we hang out as friends. The benefits resume immediately after we move on. It was a pretty good deal all around.
One night my FWB invited me to his baseball game and then some fun after. I love watching sexy guys get sweaty, so I took him up on it. I invited my Best Friend, Liz, to come along with so I would have someone to talk to during the game.
Liz and I had a great time catching up from her semester abroad. We new it would be our last summer together so we held nothing back. I told her what I planned on doing to my FWB after this first work out. She asked how it worked with him living with his parents. I told her how it sucked and we had to sneak around in his parent’s basement.
We discussed how my FWB was less than endowed, but it wasn’t like I was going to marry the guy and be stuck with it, right?
We talked about how hot the other players were. Number 25 in particular was a stud. Why does he keep looking over here? Maybe I could trade up? He wants me hardcore. Wow, look at those fine asses out there. Oooooooooooo Weeeeeeeeeeeeee
After about an hour of laughing, gossiping and watching the baseball game, my FWB came over to give us some bug spray. After thanking him for the spray he replies, “No problem, give it to my Mom when you’re done,” pointing to the woman sitting next to Liz.
I turned bright red thinking about all the things she must have heard. The worst thing was that I had met her before and didn’t recognize her. Wait, no, maybe the worst was that 25 was his newly-wed brother, who had most likely been looking over at his mom the whole game.
Awkward
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Monday, June 21, 2010
X
X is too smart for a name. If I wrote his conversation you probably wouldn’t understand it, I don’t even understand it. X has his own language because only he understands it, and he is the only one smart enough to hold a conversation with himself anyway, so why bother with any other language? X is the youngest one at his job, which only accepts the smartest people alive. Did I mention X is smart? …Because he sure did. X would have been Valedictorian except the teachers didn’t want him to give a speech calling them out for not being as smart as him. X is perfect at every sport that involves math or coordination. Want to play mini-golf with him? Yeah, by hole 3 I didn’t want to either. X will someday be president, as soon as they have an IQ requirement, in which case he will win based on him getting one vote… his own. X was so matter of fact that it wasn’t even cocky… it was just stating how it was. Check Please.
Single-ladies ring
I know it has been a little while since my last update. You won’t believe who has a giant diamond ring on her finger! Last person you ever would have thought.
No, no, it isn’t what you’re thinking although I do have an engagement ring on my finger, my right middle finger. As a declaration to the world I am now wearing what I have coined my “single –ladies ring.” It shouts that I don’t need a man to make me happy, and I don’t need one to buy me big bling either.
So right now you may be wondering: a)How could afford an $8,000 ring? and b)why you should care? I do have a point here (other than just bragging that I have a ring probably nicer than half your married friends).It all started with eHarmony guy back in December of 2009.
eHarmony walked into the jewelry store that I had worked at through most of college. Let’s call the store Rings & Things. eHarmony walked up to me and pretty much said, “I know I am going to by an engagement ring from you. I liked your jingle on the radio.” He didn’t care which ring he got, he just wanted someone to talk to about the woman he had just fallen for. I sat down with this guy and couldn’t believe the story I was about to hear.
eHarmony had found the love of his life. He had found this perfect woman on the eHarmony dating website. He had planned to fly to meet her in Pennsylvania over New Years. He was planning to make this grand gesture of love by proposing to her when he finally met her for the first time in person. Kinda a romantic/ creepy idea, although not an original one for him. He had actually done this before with a Russia woman. I have to say this guy had balls. Apparently the Russian woman had sent him packing fiancé-less immediately. He had also been married two other times, using the same rings for each marriage and proposal.
All that aside, this time was going to be different! He was starting with brand new rings and had found the perfect woman. He had even told me that he had cut out a picture of her face and put it on the pillow next to him… ekkkkkk
He meant well I swear! eHarmony swore he was a knight in shining armor… literally. He had found the lineage and collected both suits of armor and swords. He actually compared the price of the rings we looked at to his dream $6,000 suit of armor. What the fuck would you need a suit of armor for, much less a $6,000 one? It kinda makes me think of those reality shows where people buy 10k doggie spa packages or limited edition Star Trek figures. Can you find nothing else to use your money on?
I sent him out of Rings & Things with luck in his quest and a $2,000 ring. As I waved my new friend good-bye with one hand, I crossed my fingers behind my back with the other. Please God let her say yes or at least think about it long enough for it not to come back as a return.
Fast-forward a month… I saw eHarmony walk in with his maiden on his arm. Could it be? Holy Fuck she said yes. I shook both their hands and was more than willing to helping find the perfect wedding bands. I then sat down with both of them to hear their story. It was a Cinderella story. He had pulled her and her daughter out of poverty and got them back on track. Miss Harmony was to move in by spring and they were to be married in September. She also had an interview for an amazing job managing five hotels in Milwaukee, making more money than she ever could have imagined. As they left I believed anything was possible.
April 2010 eHarmony walked in and headed straight for me. We had become friends and I had come to enjoy our talks. They allowed me to sit down at the diamond cases that were usually reserved for associates with customers only. My high-heel clad feet silently thanked him for the tow hour chats. I casually asked if Miss Harmony had gotten the hotel job.
“Yeah, yeah she did. They gave her a car and a laptop, even a computer. She moved all her stuff in and everything. I went up to her family’s place in New York over Easter. We got a bunch of the wedding planning down too… and then she left me”
“Wait, what?”
“Yeah, I have no idea what happened. She packed everything up put the ring on the table and drove back to Pennsylvania. She didn’t even accept the new job. She just went back to poverty at home.”
I was shocked. We went back and forth trying to figure out what happened. Personally, I think she just couldn’t handle everything. It was just too good to be true and wasn’t the life she was used to. Who knows? All I know is that he had a finger-less ring sitting in a box in front of him. Even worse was that it was past the date to return it. I explained how he could trade it in, but that would include him getting different jewelry and spending more money. I suggested keeping it incase she came back or found someone else. It was no use. He was convinced he had given up on love and wouldn’t take Miss Harmony back even if she begged. I offered to get it polished so he could sell it online. I said that he could meet the person in the store and I would vouch it was what he claimed so that he would get more money.
“Nah, I usually go for the shock value. I’ll probably throw it up there for $50 to get rid of it.”
“You better not! You can’t give away a $2,000 ring for $50. It would break my heart.”
“All it is to me is metal and a rock. It breaks my heart to even see it. I might as well give it to you.”
I thought about yelling at him for teasing someone who loved jewelry as much as me like that. Instead I showed him my favorite ring in the store. I told him that it was discontinued and one of only two left in the company.
We talked some more until he decided it was about time he left. I panicked a little at missing a golden opportunity so I leaned towards him and said playfully,
“So how much do you want for it?”
“How much you willing to pay?” He chimed back.
Calling his bluff I took the plunge, “I can really only afford maybe 50 to 100 bucks.”
“You give me $50 and you can have it.”
Holy Shit did I just hear him right? Shaking, I have never ran to an ATM machine that fast in my life (except maybe when the credit card machine at Qboda broke down at bar-time back in my college days…Maybe).
I got out three $20 bills and headed back into Rings & Things. “How about $60 and a hug?”
He accepted the offer and was thrilled to hear I could trade it in for the dream ring I had shown him earlier.
“If this ring couldn’t make one woman happy, I’m glad it could make another one.”
With the clearance pricing and the $2000 trade I got a helluva ring and a hellova story.
I have only been called out by one guy so far who had me figured out. “You just bought that so the guy who proposes to you someday has to get one bigger.” …Maybe.
No, no, it isn’t what you’re thinking although I do have an engagement ring on my finger, my right middle finger. As a declaration to the world I am now wearing what I have coined my “single –ladies ring.” It shouts that I don’t need a man to make me happy, and I don’t need one to buy me big bling either.
So right now you may be wondering: a)How could afford an $8,000 ring? and b)why you should care? I do have a point here (other than just bragging that I have a ring probably nicer than half your married friends).It all started with eHarmony guy back in December of 2009.
eHarmony walked into the jewelry store that I had worked at through most of college. Let’s call the store Rings & Things. eHarmony walked up to me and pretty much said, “I know I am going to by an engagement ring from you. I liked your jingle on the radio.” He didn’t care which ring he got, he just wanted someone to talk to about the woman he had just fallen for. I sat down with this guy and couldn’t believe the story I was about to hear.
eHarmony had found the love of his life. He had found this perfect woman on the eHarmony dating website. He had planned to fly to meet her in Pennsylvania over New Years. He was planning to make this grand gesture of love by proposing to her when he finally met her for the first time in person. Kinda a romantic/ creepy idea, although not an original one for him. He had actually done this before with a Russia woman. I have to say this guy had balls. Apparently the Russian woman had sent him packing fiancé-less immediately. He had also been married two other times, using the same rings for each marriage and proposal.
All that aside, this time was going to be different! He was starting with brand new rings and had found the perfect woman. He had even told me that he had cut out a picture of her face and put it on the pillow next to him… ekkkkkk
He meant well I swear! eHarmony swore he was a knight in shining armor… literally. He had found the lineage and collected both suits of armor and swords. He actually compared the price of the rings we looked at to his dream $6,000 suit of armor. What the fuck would you need a suit of armor for, much less a $6,000 one? It kinda makes me think of those reality shows where people buy 10k doggie spa packages or limited edition Star Trek figures. Can you find nothing else to use your money on?
I sent him out of Rings & Things with luck in his quest and a $2,000 ring. As I waved my new friend good-bye with one hand, I crossed my fingers behind my back with the other. Please God let her say yes or at least think about it long enough for it not to come back as a return.
Fast-forward a month… I saw eHarmony walk in with his maiden on his arm. Could it be? Holy Fuck she said yes. I shook both their hands and was more than willing to helping find the perfect wedding bands. I then sat down with both of them to hear their story. It was a Cinderella story. He had pulled her and her daughter out of poverty and got them back on track. Miss Harmony was to move in by spring and they were to be married in September. She also had an interview for an amazing job managing five hotels in Milwaukee, making more money than she ever could have imagined. As they left I believed anything was possible.
April 2010 eHarmony walked in and headed straight for me. We had become friends and I had come to enjoy our talks. They allowed me to sit down at the diamond cases that were usually reserved for associates with customers only. My high-heel clad feet silently thanked him for the tow hour chats. I casually asked if Miss Harmony had gotten the hotel job.
“Yeah, yeah she did. They gave her a car and a laptop, even a computer. She moved all her stuff in and everything. I went up to her family’s place in New York over Easter. We got a bunch of the wedding planning down too… and then she left me”
“Wait, what?”
“Yeah, I have no idea what happened. She packed everything up put the ring on the table and drove back to Pennsylvania. She didn’t even accept the new job. She just went back to poverty at home.”
I was shocked. We went back and forth trying to figure out what happened. Personally, I think she just couldn’t handle everything. It was just too good to be true and wasn’t the life she was used to. Who knows? All I know is that he had a finger-less ring sitting in a box in front of him. Even worse was that it was past the date to return it. I explained how he could trade it in, but that would include him getting different jewelry and spending more money. I suggested keeping it incase she came back or found someone else. It was no use. He was convinced he had given up on love and wouldn’t take Miss Harmony back even if she begged. I offered to get it polished so he could sell it online. I said that he could meet the person in the store and I would vouch it was what he claimed so that he would get more money.
“Nah, I usually go for the shock value. I’ll probably throw it up there for $50 to get rid of it.”
“You better not! You can’t give away a $2,000 ring for $50. It would break my heart.”
“All it is to me is metal and a rock. It breaks my heart to even see it. I might as well give it to you.”
I thought about yelling at him for teasing someone who loved jewelry as much as me like that. Instead I showed him my favorite ring in the store. I told him that it was discontinued and one of only two left in the company.
We talked some more until he decided it was about time he left. I panicked a little at missing a golden opportunity so I leaned towards him and said playfully,
“So how much do you want for it?”
“How much you willing to pay?” He chimed back.
Calling his bluff I took the plunge, “I can really only afford maybe 50 to 100 bucks.”
“You give me $50 and you can have it.”
Holy Shit did I just hear him right? Shaking, I have never ran to an ATM machine that fast in my life (except maybe when the credit card machine at Qboda broke down at bar-time back in my college days…Maybe).
I got out three $20 bills and headed back into Rings & Things. “How about $60 and a hug?”
He accepted the offer and was thrilled to hear I could trade it in for the dream ring I had shown him earlier.
“If this ring couldn’t make one woman happy, I’m glad it could make another one.”
With the clearance pricing and the $2000 trade I got a helluva ring and a hellova story.
I have only been called out by one guy so far who had me figured out. “You just bought that so the guy who proposes to you someday has to get one bigger.” …Maybe.
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