I got a text from Kevin while enjoying a beautiful day on the lake. It said to come and drink with him and his friends at his house. I think I am going to invest in some mace or a tazor as I realize that going to the houses of the guys I meet online may not sound like the safest thing. Anyway, I thought it would be fun to hang out with a bunch of his friends rather than the one on one interview style dates I have been attending. I grab a case of Miller Lite and headed down to Kenosha. I got a bit lost when I was in the area so I gave him a call. He tells me to look for a girl outside waving. Let me introduce you to Tina, the first point in our love triangle. The cutest little Asian girl with an ass I would kill for. I then see Kevin on his balcony and have them buzz me in. It turns out no one could come drink on a Tuesday evening other than Kevin, myself, and Tina, who I soon would come to find was Kevin’s ex-girlfriend.
I actually did have fun with the two of them, engaging in a beer power hour to start. I even talked more with Tina than Kevin. She mentioned her 3 year old son who was in daycare at that time. Apparently she had hours to use up there so she had dropped her son off for the day. Tina wanted someone to go with her to get him so I offered as another friend (female) of Kevin’s came in.
Tina and I then bonded further to the point I could dig a little about Kevin. It was then that I found out about their previous relationship. I also found out how in the past it was a regular occurrence for him to pick up her son, give him a bath and put him to bed. I pushed a little further asking if she thought they could ever make it work together since she kept going on about what a “great guy he was.” She must not have saw me as a threat because she gladly elaborated on how she had gotten over the “baby-daddy” issues that broke them apart in the past and that she would love to end up together. Wow, thanks.
I got back and Kevin put on the movie Cars for him. He grabbed a sippy cup out of his cupboard and a Spongebob blanket out of the closet. He admitted to having more kid stuff in his condo that adult stuff. That was pretty odd for a single, childless bachelor. Feeling once again like a third wheel I politely excused myself.
When I saw he loved kids in his profile I thought it had to do with being a camp counselor and excited to be an uncle in the next couple months. I didn’t think it meant I want instant family.
I really hate breaking up happy homes. I’m so out of there.
Dating Philosophy
So here is the idea about online dating. You pick one out based on a couple pictures and a little bio. It is the ultimate example of human superficial-ness. The user searches for matches who are attractive, but not too attractive that you don’t have a chance. It is also an ultimate test of self-confidence. You can tell what kind of confidence a person has by whom they think they have the right to message and possibly date in the future. Someone who has extremely high self-confidence will blow off anyone who looks any less than a red carpet model. It seems only obvious from that reasoning that the eDater with low confidence will be too intimidated by attractive or slightly successful profiles.
If for some reason they pass the first “attractive- yet not too douch-baggary” test you scan the words for signs of serial killer tendencies, and send a message. Now not every eDater is the same. There are always exceptions to the rules. You often have the creepy guys who send out mass messages to every female seeking male on the site without a mustache. (Sometimes they even send messages to those depending on how desperate.)
Here is my problem:
When on a date with someone you meet online eDaters don’t hear what the other person is ACTUALLY saying. They obviously want it to go well. They wouldn’t be searching hopelessly through wifi waves for a soul mate if they had the time or social skills to wait around to sort through guys themselves. By looking for a significant other online it proves that you are either looking for sex or looking for “the one.” Everyone wants to think that the next one is going to be “the one.” We wouldn’t do it knowing that the next one is going to be a waste of time or will take your heart and rip it out leaving you a little less trusting towards the next. We wouldn’t bother (and would probably not let it happen in the first place), which leads me to my point. Every eDater goes into the date with at least a glimmer of a hope that this is the person you have been looking for their entire life.
So this is why we see our date in a far better light than they really are. We WANT them to be the great person they might be. This is how I know that in order for me to see these eDater guys as ridiculous, bad dates they must have been just that… bad. I have to admit that the stories I have taken away are something that have added to my life experience.
So what happens when you take out that factor? What happens when you don’t go in it for sex or marriage? You don’t go into it trying to dress up and impress? What happens when you eDate as many people as possible to learn about the opposite sex? What would you see once the bull shit curtain was pulled away? No one to try to impress, no false hopes or rose-colored glasses?
*names have been changed to protect the not-so-innocent
Thursday, May 27, 2010
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dude i thought i was the cutest asian girl you knew....wtf!
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